Finish Lines

There are a lot of start lines in our lives. 

Birth, jobs, relationships, friendships, races, projects. 

It only stands to reason that there are finish lines, too.

Some are our own, but some we're only witness to. We may not have seen our grandmother's start line, but we've probably seen her finish line.

Some are worth mourning. Some are worth celebrating. Some, you feel nothing but relief.

In terms of racing, I've seen 125 start lines and 120 finish lines. Of those five missed finish lines:
- four I'd make the same choice on missing them again.
- one I regret.
- one which was nothing but relief.
- one where I still wonder "what if."

(Note: the "what if" and the regret are not the same race.)

Some finish lines in life blindside you. The end of friendships, divorces, death. Some leave you feeling relief; others bitterness; others joy. Some leave you feeling all of the possible feels you can feel.

The announcement of Skirt Sports' possible finish line is doling out the latter - feeling all the feels. 

I understand and respect Nicole DeBoom's decision to explore another path in her life. 

I'm deeply saddened at the potential loss of a brand that has been there for me for 13 years; one that I can know automatically if I purchase something that it will fit. 

I (okay, really B) feel a bit of relief that I no longer have to get creative with closet and drawer space to fit in even more Skirt. 

I also feel relief that Skirt is so well made that I will continue to have those pieces for another 13 years if I so choose to since I know they'll last that long. 

I feel anger at the circumstances that forced their hand while simultaneously understanding that this decision would probably have come regardless eventually, but maybe just not. right. now. 

I rejoice in the friends and connections I have made, knowing that those won't just go away because the clothing brand connecting us might.

I don't even know how to describe one of my feelings - of what I might miss out on, whether it be some amazing new fabric or print or product, or even new friend that might now not be made. Not fear, not angry ... impotence? Frustration? Sadness of what will never be? Mourning of lost possibility?

My first Skirt was a shirt, and I wrote a poem back in 2018 about what that one simple item of clothing meant. I converted to Skirt fully in 2010. I became an ambassador back in 2015, a captain in 2016, a model in 2018. I attended retreats each year I was an ambassador (this year not withstanding)(dang COVID-19)(2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019).

I'm thankful a friend talked me into doing Tri for the Cure in 2007, not only for sparking my torrid love affair with triathlon, but for unintentionally teaching me about Skirt Sports (the apparel sponsor).

I'm thankful for the silly SkirtChaser series that Brandon and I decided to run in 2008 which got me my first actual Skirt.

I'm thankful for the wide range of products and awesome patterns that got me sucked in.

I'm thankful I took the plunge and introduced myself to Nicole at the Tri for the Cure expo in ... either 2011 or 2012.

I'm thankful for the reboot of the ambassador program (the current one to this day) and for them accepting me in 2015.

I'm thankful for that first retreat in part for introducing me to Kim and Jake's.

I'm thankful for their faith in me and choosing me to be a captain in 2016.

I'm thankful for the countless connections I have made through Skirt.

I'm thankful for the community they gave me at a time in my life when I deeply needed one.

I'm thankful for them pushing me out of my comfort zone in so many little ways that I didn't even realize it was happening at the time.

I'm thankful for their trust in me to become one of their Real Woman models, and thankful I ignored my fears to even model a sports bra.

I'm thankful I was able to honor the company's 15th anniversary by wearing the newest iteration of the Race Belt Skirt at IRONMAN Wisconsin, the race Nicole won while wearing the very first Skirt prototype.

I'm thankful that while I wasn't there at Skirt's start line, I stumbled upon their race, and will be able to celebrate with them at their finish line. 

Nicole, thank you. Thank you to you and to everyone I've known at Skirt HQ over the years - Sarah, Noelle, Keri, Jen, Chris, Amy, Jenelle, Rebecca, and so many others I'm forgetting (not to mention Tim and Wilder). I feel blessed to have stumbled upon you and become a teeny tiny part of your story.

April Round Up

Another month has passed us by ... even if it's hard to tell. How did it go for me in terms of working out? Why, well thank you for asking; I'll let you know right now.

Swimming: 0m (0 mi)
Cycling: 161.82 mi
Running: 44.81 mi
Lifting: 30 sessions (8:32)
Other: five walks (2:45), one session yoga (:19)

Still no swimming. Really starting to miss it. My goal for May is to get in the water somehow, whether it be because the gym opened up again or I finally throw myself in a lake/reservoir.

Cycling numbers went up nicely. I think there may have been a trainer ride or two in there, but it was mostly outside. I'm pretty thankful for that.

Running also has been coming along well. I have signed up for a few virtual races - two 10ks and a 5k - so I'll do "recaps" for those as I do them. 

Strength work continued to skyrocket - the TIU app was free (besides just the daily workout) for a while so I did a few extra classes. I also added in some dryland swim work just so I don't lose all my swim fitness. Hopefully.

Otherwise ... I finally cracked yesterday. I'm sick of all of this crap. I'm sick of exercise being the only way I can get out and explore. I'm sick of riding and running the same paths and trails. I'm sick of not being able to travel. I'm sick of everyone else not being able to travel because it's hurting my husband's livelihood. I'm just sick of it all.

March Round Up

As you probably gleaned from the last time I scribbled in here ... training is kind of a shitshow right now. Read on ...

Swimming: 6800m (4.23 mi)
Cycling: 54.04 mi
Running: 28.03 mi
Lifting: 31 sessions (6:32)
Other: two sessions skiing (7:30), five walks (2:15), one session yoga (:14)

My 15 month 10k/mo swimming streak finally came to an end. Hindsight being what it is, I'm annoyed with myself for skipping swims earlier this month (even before my conscience started poking at me (and I actually listened to it to not swim right before the pools closed)). Reservoir water is probably still too cold for me to want to try swimming in it ... and it's actually probably not super prudent for me to do it anyway. 

In short, I never thought I'd miss swimming this much, but I do.

Riding numbers should be great - I have all this time and I should really be on the trainer a whole bunch! - but they're not. I just haven't wanted to throw my bike on the trainer and when I have gotten outside, it hasn't been for much. I'm really hoping that will change for April, but who knows. I don't feel comfortable driving anywhere to ride and the trails have been more crowded than usual due to the obvious.

I managed to salvage running somewhat. I'm doing better about getting out every other day (back into my normal routine), but what the runs are usually isn't pretty. I did get an email for a virtual Conquer COVID-19 run, though, so I may sign up to do that, if only for the absolutely hilarious medal. Plus it might get me back to longer distances.

The one bonus is the extra strength work - this might be my biggest strength month in quite some time. I may actually attempt swim-specific work in April, too. 

As for the other stuff ... it's there. Walking will continue to be a thing. Even if we hadn't used the rest of our four-pack (so grateful that we did), all the ski resorts are closed, so none of that. Hiking will also continue to not be a thing until the state reopens as we're not technically supposed to really leave our bubbles.

For April, what do I hope to see? No swimming, unfortunately (*cries*), but hopefully back to some decent bike and run mileage. But if not, that's okay too.

Training Update

... I know I never do these anymore (save the monthly recaps) ... but what with the crazy COVID-19 times we're living in, I figured I'd jump on the probable bandwagon of blogging about dealing with this shit.

My training update is ... I'm really kind of not. I had a good week at the beginning of March. Then we went on a tiny weekend trip that ended up being stressful so we took a small break as we had a ski vacation planned. We did that, using up the last days of our four-pack ... and then got down the mountain to an uncertain world.

We/I didn't manage to swim the few swims I had scheduled late last week and I had a feeling that I should probably get to the pool on Monday, but I didn't ... and now who knows when I'll be able to swim again.

The only thing that really bums me out there is that my at least 10k a month swim streak dies. I had it going for 15 months which is crazy awesome for me. But alas ... it is dead. Unless I want to try to brave the reservoirs around here which ... no. I'm not that strong.

We're still allowed outside, but it's been so mentally tough to get out for either a ride or a run. B and I managed last weekend, but it was a bit rough. I am fortunate enough to have an indoor cycling set up if I so choose it ... and I'm not doing it.

I am, however, still sticking with my TIU daily workout because I think it's so ingrained in me by this point. At the beginning of this month, I decided to try and add a little extra in each day as well (so if it's arm day, add in a few extra arm exercises), which I think was a good idea. The actual in-app workouts (that aren't just the daily moves) are free right now thanks to the shitshow that is our world, so I may try some of those as well. I have at least done one of the meditations and it was great.

The other thing that I think is relatively fortunate is that except for a whole bunch of tentative stuff on the schedule (random running races that I penciled in like hey, maybe I'll run this), I have no serious races until August in Boulder 70.3 (oh I'm doing that. I think I mentioned it.). At this point, who knows if it'll still go on, but I'm thankful I don't have to worry about it ... yet.

In general, we're trying to both give ourselves grace in this stressful time and do what we can, as we can. I guess that's all that any of us can do.

Race #2 of the Season: Leap Day 5K

This race was a bit spur of the moment (though not registered for last second). I knew B was going to be home for it and I got emails for it ... so I asked him, "hey, how do you feel about running a 5K on the 29th?" He said sure, so we went for it.

Neither of us had really raced a 5K in a few years - April 2018, I think? Let me note that while we did run hard at the Colorado 5K last June, I don't think either of us were actually attempting to race it like we did at the aforementioned April race (Rockies 5K). 

Race morning looked to be a bit chillier than we had hoped (stupid clouds). Eh, welcome to Colorado.

Race photogs got me dropping off donations. Courtesy 3W Races.

Since it was chilly, we mostly hung out in the car until about 10 minutes prior to the start. I got to see several friends/fellow Skirt ambassadors at the race including Deb and Jen, so that was nice.

Soon enough ... go time.


I'm on the left while B is in the yellow socks. Photo 3W Races.

I was in front of B until the first main hill that I had to walk some on at probably .75 miles. From that point until probably a little after 2 miles, we leap-frogged. I was able to run at a decent clip when I was running, but the cold made it a bit hard to breathe. And I used my stupid inhaler for a change, so I was a bit grumbly.

In any case, 5Ks are nice and short and it means the pain is over (relatively) quickly.


Urgh. Photo 3W races.


Dead husband, who finished 30 seconds prior to me. It took him a few minutes to peel himself off the pavement.


... that's a nice surprise ...

Final Stats:
Time: 29:48.1
17/89 AG (F30-39)
57/370 gender
118/544 overall

First time I have gone sub-:30 in a 5K since December 2017 when I last did my "race to fitness" experiment. I was kind of wondering if I'd ever see that again. Thankfully ... I did. Now to get it even lower ...

February Round Up

At the end of January's round up, I mentioned that motivation had been a problem. It continued on that way a bit into February before I finally ended up sort of getting my shit together mid month. Read on ...

Swimming: 13500m (8.39 mi)
Cycling: 123.23 mi
Running: 24.89 mi
Lifting: 29 sessions (5:33)
Other: one session skiing (4:30), two walks (1:30)

I sort of started to move out of my early month funk ... but then I had a crisis in terms of race direction. I sorta kinda thought I'd maybe race IM Lake Placid this year - we'd briefly talked about it late December - but then it never got brought up. B wasn't super happy about it in the first place so I thought that him not mentioning it was a sign.

It ended up being that he actually just totally forgot about it (... communication: rarely a problem with us but sometimes ...) and in discussing it, if I'm going to race an IM, I want to do it right, and I don't think I could have done that with Placid this year.

Once that maybe possibility was out of my brain, I needed to find different direction as 70.3 Memphis is a looooong way away.

So, I sat down and wrote out a tentative race calendar and then the weekly long workouts I would need to get there. I threw a couple possible early(-ier) season 10 miles/half-marathons on there (if I run them, great; if not, I'll have at least gotten in the mileage) and we compromised on me adding in another 70.3 which means I'll do Boulder again.

As for what that meant for monthly numbers ... I'm glad swimming is staying over 10k. I had some extremely frustrating moments with swimming this past month and a few possible baby breakthroughs. The bike continues to be a bit of a struggle, but I think as long as I can get outside more in March, it will improve quite a bit. I'm bummed that it was a down running month, but I may have had a tiny breakthrough there, too (spoiler alert for Friday).

I'm glad to be continuing with the daily workout as well as getting in some other activities. We're really enjoying skiing and that will show up again at least once in March. I'm hoping to do a bit more than that, however, especially as the weather starts turning spring-like.

January Round Up

Oh, January. Usually the fresh, motivated start to the new year. For most people. This year? Not so much ...

Swimming: 13900m (8.64 mi)
Cycling: 104.59 mi
Running: 46.03 mi
Lifting: 31 sessions (5:43)
Other: one session erg (rowing)(:15:05), one session skiing (4:30), one session yoga (:14)

In terms of my usual numbers ... average swim month, below average bike month, and an okay-ish run month. I was successful with the daily (woo) and some great non-S/B/R activities. The month finished off really strong as well.

I dunno, this year's been weird. I'm pseudo-attempting to train as if for a full ... but I haven't officially committed to anything (and the race is 75% full so I may want to think about it) ... and the 70.3 is still so far away that it's hard to get motivated.

Plus I've been super blah - pretty much since Thanksgiving if we're being honest - and have started off February with a decent head cold too. 

Motivation in most things in my life - getting onto a regular schedule, moving from my desk, etc. - is not really present and I'm hoping that can change soon.