Let's back up.
When I was considering my race season, I threw a whole bunch of random races I'd never done before. Let's go different, I thought. There were two different sprint tris I was looking at on June 24th - one was in Steamboat (Tri the Boat) and the other one was in Sterling (Tri on the Plains). I thought the one out east would be better and oh hey look, it's in a state park with another one on the way so I can hit two on the trip.* I registered for it right before the last price increase just so I actually did ... which was probably the first sign I shouldn't have registered in the first place.
I was attempting to put myself through a mini tri camp the weekend prior to the race. I scheduled everything and it was great. I had it go from Sunday through Wednesday ... and started it off with an almost 40 mile ride with a lot of climbing with friends on Saturday.
I slept in later than I wanted on Sunday (would have been so late had it been an *actual* tri camp), but I still went out for my run as planned. During said run ... which was later in the morning and therefore hotter ... and also fairly miserable because running just isn't where I want it to be ... I let my mind wander. I came to the conclusion that while I'm enjoying moving my body, I'm not enjoying actual, focused training. And part of that might be because I don't have a big, scary, purposeful goal on the horizon.
As a result, I would let myself just enjoy the rest of the summer. Go hike more. Not stress about everything I eat or do and OMG how am I going to fit in this run now when it's 100 degrees because I didn't wake up early enough to do so?. I in theory hoped to get through the rest of tri camp and the race and June ... but that didn't end up happening.
I knew I have enough base fitness to get through a sprint triathlon, so on the 23rd, we packed up and drove the few hours out to Sterling. I picked up my packet. I had my standard breakfast-for-dinner. I got decent sleep.
Sunday morning, we woke up a bit later than ideal, but still with plenty of time to get to North Sterling State Park, where the race was being held. I attempted to eat a breakfast sandwich from 7-11 pre-race ... but that didn't work. A Bobo's bar closer to race time worked much better.
This race may have been the smallest race I've ever done.
Quite possibly the smallest transition I've ever seen. Plus awesome clouds.
Pre-race smiley.
I think there were maybe 50 people competing ... and that includes all the relay competitors. And that might be generous.
Walking to the swim.
Water was about 70 degrees, so not bad ... but the last time I'd been in open water was Santa Cruz ... so it took me a minute to get used to it. This picture was probably taken right as the water hit my back. I had my usual anxiety with the cold and my lungs and the water, but I bobbed my head and did a few practice strokes and figured I'd be fine once the race started (I've been around this block a lot).
There wasn't a lot of time from when we got in the water and when the race started - I didn't even have time to get relaxed enough to pee! The race director was explaining the course and went right into, "are you ready to race? Okay, 3, 2, 1, go!"
I started swimming and while everything was physically fine ... mentally ... race brain just wasn't kicking in. I was working on avoiding not being punched in the head (harder than you'd think with so few people racing ...), got out a ways (100ish yds according to Garmin) ... and stopped. Ostensibly to breast stroke for a second and sight (and notice that oh yay, one of the last people), because I did start back up for a second.
And then I stopped again and treaded water for a moment. I wasn't particularly enjoying myself and didn't particularly want to be last out of the water and just didn't particularly want to race. I just was not feeling it. So I made the decision to turn it.
As soon as I did, I felt lighter.
I swam back to the dock/shore, assuring the volunteers that I was fine. I told Brandon that I just wasn't feeling it and didn't want to continue and race and be miserable. I turned in my chip to Darrin from Racing Underground (who was providing the timing and whom I chatted with a bit pre-race) and waited for most people to start the bike before removing my things from transition.
We exited the park on the bike course and I did kind of regret not being out there on the bike, but other than that, had no regrets about pulling out.
I felt like I should regret the decision; I think Brandon was surprised at how okay I was at DNFing (really more of a false start).
******
I'm going to enjoy my summer. I've weeded out some races on the sidebar and the only two races I'm 100% for sure going to keep are the Milk Run (because I've paid for it) and the Blerch half because dude, fun! The others will probably not happen, but never say never, right?
I think I realized that I need a true mental break from triathlon and training. I've been doing it for 11 years and, if we're being honest with ourselves, seriously for seven or eight. With no true break.
I still believe I do want to race IRONMAN Wisconsin next year, but with the state of my head right now, there's no way I'll be able to show up to the start line adequately prepared, and I am not going to disrespect the race distance like that.
* I have a goal of hitting all of Colorado's state parks this year. I'm just about halfway through.
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