I use this blog as a sounding board quite a bit, as you can all tell. Let's face it: I'm not a writer and often I end up on rambles that probably make no sense to anyone other then me and sometimes T.
On Tuesday afternoon, I flew again to Greensboro, where I was to begin a 6 day stretch of reserve. Meaning I sit around, wait for the phone to ring, and go to work. The phone has yet to ring. So instead, I'm forced to shell out money for a hotel room so I can at least be somewhat productive and not have to sleep on the crew room couch at the airport.
The real thing here that hurts the most is that I'm away from home for nearly a week.
T and I started dating in December 2007. At the time, I was living in Minnesota, she was living in Colorado. I was a pilot for an airline out there; she was doing her college hockey writing gig out in CO. No big deal; I flew out whenever I can, I also hooked her up with buddy passes so she could fly out and see me. Even when living nearly 1000 miles apart, we saw each other on a consistent basis. I was juggling my bartending job at this time too and still was able to manage.
Fast forward to today. I'll be gone from Tuesday at about 2:30 in the afternoon to Monday at 5:00 in the afternoon (and that's if I don't work Monday and can go home early). That's nearly a week of not being home. That's a week of being on the road, unable to get tasks done at home that need to get done. A week of being in a town where I refuse to take up residence, where I don't know anyone, and really, just go through the motions. I basically count down the days until I can get back to Denver, where life is happy.
So what do I do to make sure I don't fall in a depressive state? One thing I do is plan my days back home. I plan on what I'm going to do so that my days in Denver are fun and productive, not blah. For instance, we're going to Tucson on Tuesday morning. It'll be a great chance to get some R and R, eat some In N Out, and check out the Triathlon Store. We'll also get some good running in Sabino Canyon. Last time we hiked it. This time we're running it.
Today I'm going to be doing a 12 mile run. During this run, while I plan on focusing on my form, obviously, I'm also going to be doing a lot of thinking. Keeping my mind healthy. As much as I want to quit and find something else in Denver, right now, I don't have the skills to find something that will pay me as much as what I'm making doing a pilot, even though that's barely enough to get by as it is. I have friends constantly there to remind me to stick it out. To ride this wave of bad luck; that things will get better with time. I know ultimately that they are right; it's just hard to see right now.