State of the T

I probably should wait until the October recap for this, but meh. 

It's been just about three months from Lake Placid, and I am lost.

I have been out hiking and I've enjoyed it, but anything else? It's so hard. Just mentally impossible.

I'm in my favorite running season, and I can't be bothered to get out the door to run. Or to go ride. And swimming? Pfffffft. Attempting to do a lift up in our loft is almost as bad.

(and lifting at the gym? gym anxiety for lifting weights hit some time a few years ago (really, i blame crossfit) and it's never really left. so that's straight out.)

It's not that I don't want to move. It's just that there's a disconnect. It might be similar to what I dealt with through most of this year. Maybe there's still a frayed wire thanks to the 'rona (from one year ago)(i'm still dealing with a bit of a brain fog - words are hard - which sucks for someone who was always halfway decent with them) that's been making things hard. Maybe the waffling of the past two years did indeed break my brain.

Whatever it is, it's rough. 

The state of the T, as it is, is mostly idleness. I'd rather it not be, but energy is at a premium. 

Like from late last year/earlier this year, I'd almost say it's like I was depressed except mentally, I'm not. But maybe my physical body is.

All I can do is my best each day, and hopefully that'll start involving a bit more movement than not.